CANDY MACHINE WOES
July 20, 2004

Dear Miss Vendor,

For some time now, you have provided my office with such treats like M&Ms, Butterfingers, Ruffles, Juicy Fruit, Lifesavers, Baby Ruths, and more. You have even gone as far as stocking fresh fruit and juices on the once infamous "Wheel O' Death". Your notorious moldy sandwiches have been replaced with delicious (although pricey) alternatives, and your homemade Strawberry Shortcake dessert is the bomb!

However, I have a small request. For 5 years now, I have stood in front of your vending machines on an almost daily basis, considering my choices and pressing the letter-number combination for my purchase, but I can only remember a few days of these many years where your mechanical springs or electric wheels have returned a package full of my favorite candies. I am not here to request odd confections sold only in the mountains of Nepal or the outback of Australia, I am simply wanting access to some of my all time favorite, chocolate-free and nut-free sweets. Perhaps you have seen these products sold in your neighborhood CostCo or Sam's super-duper-warehouse: Skittles - Starburst - Spree - Smarties.

I once thought you skipped past the "S" aisle on your way to the shelves housing 5-gallon drums of pickles, but your machines do host Snickers Bars. And although the chocolate bars DO satisfy me from time to time, my mouth is happier when visited by fruity flavored treats -- either natural or artificial.

Please accept my letter in the highest regard. My tongue craves the numerous flavors of the rainbow and I do not think your many varieties of Pork Skins are able to meet the request.

Sincerely,

Customer Brandon