THE REAL THING
May 8, 2002

Reality can be perceived in numerous ways. What one person views as tangible, can be seen by another as an object reeking of a fake existence. This is true not only in the material realm, but in life as well. From knock-off Gucci watches sold on New York City corners, to beauty queen smiles gracing a Midwestern pageant, reality has become passé. So I ask, what is real? What is real spiritually, mentally, physically, and emotionally?

Spiritually, reality can be anyone's guess. Is there life after death? Does God exist? Did Buddha visit the Mall of America last weekend with his wife and kids? Questions plague our miniscule minds as we try to force a concept far beyond our grasp into our small box heads. In the end, I am sure someone will be wrong in their postulations. I hope that it isn't me. But then again, I hope I am very wrong about some things I hold spiritually true. How would heaven really be heaven if my mother entered hell and I was taken away from her? Or vice versa? Needless to say, I shy away from such questions and just keep faith close to my heart. Even then, is my faith real? Luckily He knows.

When the subject turns to the mental state of a person, reality can be as equally misinterpreted. There are varying degrees of sanity, as probably categorized by the American Psychological Association. Ranging from the mentally incapable to the genius, most of us fall somewhere in between. But the question is, what makes one more "real" over another? Kent, my best friend in grade school, suffered from a mild form of epilepsy. He was enrolled in the "special education" classes and was teased by students all through school until our senior year. One thing, however, surprised most people when they met him. Kent knew every detail about every Chevrolet car made. He knew the year they were issued and discontinued, what the engine type was on various models, and what car could drive the fastest and haul the most. Yet, Kent was unable to multiply 12 X 12 until he was 5th grade, a whole two years after most of the class. Kent's mental state was VERY real. We all knew where we stood with him, and he knew where he stood with us, most of the time. On the flip side, I have met people with high IQs, accompanied with high attitudes. They were living in the make believe world of the educational elite. They thought they were real, but instead they missed the mark of reality by miles.

Even physically, reality has been misplaced to gather dust, and replaced with quick-fix solutions. I am guilty of this as well. Right now as I type, I have Crest whitening strips slowly bleaching my teeth to a nice brilliant white. Is this the real thing? Guess again. Even last summer I tried (and failed) at placing a fake tanning lotion on my body for a nice even tan. However, I am not alone. Most people in America's society have a difficult time escaping from the grasps of the cosmetic revolution. Breast implants, botox injections, liposuction, and tummy tucks are common procedures performed thousands of times a year. However, does inserting silicon into one's body cause that person to be any less "real"? Maybe. But it depends on that persons motivations and goals behind having the operation done. Why am I brightening my teeth and tanning my skin? To look better. To feel better. In whose eyes will I look better though?

On an emotional basis, reality checks have to be accomplished often - within yourself and with those close to you. It is difficult to discern between what is real and what is not real with such intangible feelings. Love. Trust. Freedom. Passion. These are a few of the many emotions and feelings we express to others. Logic cannot be trusted here, only instinct should be consulted when determining the validity of an emotion at hand. However, emotions coupled with actions speak volumes, because actions can be seen, heard, and felt in numerous ways. It my responsibility as a friend, lover, son, or fellow human, to make sure that my feelings are understood correctly. My love for another could fall on deaf ears if I do not shout it from the highest point. Likewise, I cannot bottle up my feelings to protect another from harm. That is not real.

I have been surfing the internet for some time, and it surprises me to see people enraptured with the lives of others online, to the point where the virtual reality of the internet becomes THE reality they live. There are millions of worlds online. One only has to choose which world they want to join. We have come a long way from the BBS of yesterday, to the ICUII webcam software of today, allowing users to chat and watch each other in real time. But is it truly "real time"? There can be spiritual discussion, but there may be a lack of a spiritual connection. Mentally, ideas can be exchanged, thoughts pondered, and questions raised. The connection, as well, may not be strong. In addition, physical and emotional links are difficult to secure while online. There is no touch, smell, or taste to aid in forming a true reality between people.

As I stated at the beginning, reality is based on perception. I may be wrong in everything I have written here, but I need to set guidelines within my own life as to what I will let in and what must stay out. I must be able to grasp ideas and feelings. I must be affected to the core of my being to be able to assimilate new people and new realities into my life. So I ask myself daily: Where are you standing? What are you seeing? And is it real?